


Of Guests and Pests

by Rose_of_Pollux



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_of_Pollux/pseuds/Rose_of_Pollux
Summary: In which Napoleon’s parents throw a party, but trouble arises when one of the guests takes issue with Illya.





	Of Guests and Pests

It was clear that Napoleon's parents were just as talented at throwing great parties as Napoleon was-clearly a talent passed down from mother to son, as Cora Solo was the driving force of the party that she had insisted Napoleon and Illya attend. While Cora spearheaded the endeavor, her husband, Leopold, backed her up whenever he could; Napoleon and Illya attempted to try and help, but Cora insisted that they relax as guests.

As more guests arrived, Napoleon, who knew most of them, began to mingle. Knowing that Illya was introverted, he didn't press him to mingle-something that Illya was grateful for. And as Cora and Leopold set out the food on sterling silver serving trays, he began to cheer up as he ate. He continued to man this post by the food table, watching Napoleon and his parents interact with the guests. A few of the guests casually greeted Illya as they came for food, but soon left him alone to rejoin the party, and aside from the times that Napoleon, Cora, or Leopold checked to see how he was doing, Illya was mostly left alone-just the way he liked it. It let him hone his people-watching skills-skills that were important as an agent.

He was privately analyzing each guest-from the shy man who seemingly had a puppy-love crush on Aunt Amy (who was either completely oblivious or uninterested) to the young student, daughter of one of Cora's friends, who was here when she clearly should have been studying, to the snooty rich woman decked with jewelry (Illya was secretly pleased to see both Cora and Napoleon privately rolling their eyes at the amount of jewelry she was wearing). Illya watched for a while before turning his attention to the other guests.

He was refueling with some more food when he heard someone speak to him rather haughtily.

"I don't think I've seen you before around here…"

Illya looked up, surprised to see the overly-bedecked woman now standing beside him, looking at him with a judging look on her face.

"…Er… No, Madam, you have not," Illya said, politely. He tried not to react as the woman's expression darkened at the sound of his accent.

"Are you _Russian_?" she asked, as if scandalized by the notion. "How did you crash this party!?"

"…I am half-Russian, half-Ukrainian," Illya said, realizing that this would do nothing to change her mind. "And I did not… 'crash' this party; I was invited by Napoleon's parents. Napoleon and I work for U.N.C.L.E.--"

"Now you listen to me-and cut the lies!" the woman said, suddenly standing an inch from Illya's face. "Cora Solo would never invite one of the enemy to one of her parties! Obviously, you manipulated Napoleon into letting you come! Now, I've known Napoleon since he was a child-don't you go corrupting him with those un-American ideas; you stay away from him--!"

"Is there a problem?" Napoleon asked, sharply, suddenly coming out of nowhere to stand between Illya and the woman.

"Napoleon!" the woman exclaimed. Her expression changed to an accusatory one as she pointed to Illya. "This incredibly rude colleague of yours insulted me! I demand an apology this instant!"

Napoleon scowled and was about to tell her off-except that his mother beat him to the punch.

"I heard everything, Naomi," Cora said, as she, too, appeared out of nowhere, radiating as much rage as her son was. "For your information, I _did_ invite Illya to this party-the three of us did, unanimously."

"That's right," Leopold scowled, and Illya was admittedly surprised; it just dawned on him that he'd never seen Leopold upset before until this very moment. "As far as we're concerned, he is family, and he is welcome in this house whenever he wishes."

"You, however, are not," Cora added.

"Hmph!" the woman scoffed. "As if I would want to be in a place that harbors Russians!"

She left, and all three Solos silently dared anyone else in the room to say anything; when no one did, they now turned their attention to Illya, apologizing profusely for him having to endure that.

And Illya assured them that it was alright-and he meant it, for the knowledge of having a loyal family to back him up, no matter what the situation, was something he'd never thought he'd have again-but he had it now, and it was all he could ever want.


End file.
